May 2013
my cousin just tweeted “what if 11:11 wishes don’t come true because someone in the world wished they didnt” and now i am speechless
vogue-wars:
“you’re just missing a concert” they said
“it’s not like it’s a big deal” they said
“it’s just a band” they said
“what are you doing with that axe” they said
i feel bad for nice sharks because no matter how nice they are everyone screams and swims away scared shitless like maybe that shark just wanted to braid hairs and talk about celebs
understandablydumb:
the guy on the radio just said “gas prices aren’t so bad if you consider you’re really buying liquid explosive dinosaurs” and my perspective on life is forever changed
sodamnrelatable:
when you’re watching your favorite show and they mention the place where you live or somewhere near it and you’re just like
loveforeversmilealways:
arlene13:
why is six afraid of seven?
because seven is a registered six offender
i am legit in tears over this joke
amazzingphil:
[IT IS PERFECTLY OKAY TO LOVE A BAND’S MOST POPULAR SONG THERE IS A REASON IT IS THEIR MOST POPULAR SONG]
vvant:
let’s play a game called “are you staring at me because im hot or ugly”
theinsufferablefan:
broadway-aradia:
what if you had an oven that could make things cold instead of hot omg
krvsty:
yeah boyfriends are pretty cool but have u ever heard of chocolate fountains
tomlinsen:
this was like two years ago
but anyways so in this one part of my house there’s these three steps but omg they’re deadly
one time i was eating cereal and i slipped and fell and passed out and my cereal got everywhere. My sister said the last thing I yelled before I passed out was
“MY CEREAL!!!”
croutoncat:
i wanna die but maybe something cool will happen so ill stay alive for now
imaginelarrys:
stylinsmut:
im a hostess at a restaurant and my favorite thing to do is ask 14/15 year old boys who are out on dates if they want a kids menu
i love you
